7 months ago I didn't want to teach (*gasp*). For one thing, I was tired of coming up against walls and closed doors and people who, for one reason or another, didn't want to hire me. But even more than that, I was grateful for the first 6 months of marriage not being filled with stress and long hours making lesson plans and grading papers. Then I had the opportunity to tutor, which was great. I enjoyed teaching someone who cared about the work that she did. I enjoyed not having to deal with administration or government regulations that make it the teacher's fault if a student fails. And I especially loved the idea of helping out parents who want to give their children the best education they can, but may be lacking in a certain skill (grammar, writing, etc.). And having small classes and making my own curriculum are incredible benefits as well. The fact that public school teaching has lost its appeal, and that the door has opened to private tutoring, along with a knowledge that I will not be teaching forever (family will always be a priority), have all caused a major paradigm shift.

I loved the idea of teaching when I was in school - even when I was in the public schools for student teaching. But maybe God just gave me that drive so I could finish strong. And I do love most of it, but I don't love stress. And I don't want teaching to consume my life. I want my church and husband and family to come first in my life, and my job to come after that. So maybe I'm not ready for a career. There might be a time someday when I am, but for now, it's not me.

So my plan is to teach small classes and/or tutor individual students. Right now, I have nothing solid for the fall, but I know that God will provide. And until an opportunity to tutor comes along, I'll be working as a substitute. All the stress of classroom management, none of the stress of grading or lesson plans. Since announcing my move from the lucrative career of thrift store pricer to substitute teacher, many people have said, "Oh, at least you'll have your foot in the door." I may have one foot in that door, but I'm headed in the opposite direction.

I think sometimes God changes our desires. He changes our hearts and our passions to lead us where He wants to take us.